At census time, when it comes to filling in the ‘religion’ question, it’s none of this ‘Jedi’ nonsense for me. I put ‘Comedian’ [1], because I will worship at the altar of Comedy more readily than any organised religion (or business dressed up to look like the same).
So, as Christmas Eve turned into Christmas day, while my family were organising their attendance at Midnight Mass (which didn’t eventuate, as it turns out – they crashed out in front of the telly watching We Can Be Heroes on DVD!) I pulled together this episode of Stand & Deliver! – a form of rapturous veneration I was still undertaking when they finally did organise getting to Mass first thing on Christmas morning.
The episode is built around a few Christmas routines as performed by the likes of Darren Casey, Kent Valentine and Dave Jory at the year’s final Mic in Hand that took place at the Friend in Hand Hotel on the night of December 14th. It was also a good opportunity to play a great Christmas song by Tripod, recorded on their new mini-album Perfectly Good Songs. I threw in a tiny snippet of Adam Hills’s material that had a bit of a Christmas angle to it (I first used this in a radio interview of some years ago).
It also seemed appropriate to have a little ‘round-up’ of upcoming comedy festivals and competitions.
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Announcer: And now for something somewhat derivative.
Soundbite: The ‘Theme to Radio Ha Ha’ plays ever-so-briefly before the stylus of the record is brought across the vinyl, bringing it to an abrupt end in time for:
Announcer: Stand and deliver!
Song: ‘Theme to No Wucken Forries’ (edited version)
Dom: This is Dom Romeo welcoming you to Episode 3 of Stand & Deliver!, the podcast that takes a bit of a knowing look at comedy. Now, it’s just gone Christmas Day, and my family have gone of to Midnight Mass, leaving me at home alone; I’ve snuck downstairs Rupert Pupkin-like [2] in order to squeeze out a special Christmas Day Edition of Stand & Deliver!
In this episode we’ll be hearing from the likes of Adam Hills, Tripod, Kent Valentine and Dave Jory, but to kick us off is the very dry, observational humour of Darren Casey, recorded live at Mic in Hand, at the Friend in Hand Hotel in Glebe.
Soundbite: Darren Casey, on receiving presents at Christmas, recorded live at Mic in Hand, at the Friend in Hand Hotel.
Station ID: Stand… stand… stand and deliver!
Dom: That was Darren Casey talking about inappropriate Christmas presents, recorded live at Mic in Hand at the Friend in Hand Hotel in Glebe, and you’re listening to the Christmas episode of Stand & Deliver!, perhaps as you unwrap your own inappropriate Christmas presents.
Station ID: Stand! And! Deliver! Oooh, stand and deliver… Stand! And! Deliver! Stand and deliver…
Dom: Now, if this were a show on free-to-air radio, right about now I’d be playing an up-tempo Christmas song like ‘Felice Navidad’ [3] or ‘Happy Christmas (War Is Over!)’ [4] or one of those all-star charity singles by Band Aid or USA for Africa [5]. Instead, I get to play you stand-up comic Adam Hills’s take on those charity singles. This is a snippet from his album Go You Big Red Fire Engine which, if you’re lucky, you might just find on www.amazon.com. [6]
Soundbite: Adam Hills on 80s music, particularly those Christmas charity singles, as excerpted from ‘Feed the World’ on the album Go You Big Red Fire Engine.
Station ID: Stand… stand… stand and deliver!
Dom: That was Adam Hills, being funny about Christmas music on his CD Go You Big Red Fire Engine. There’s a great deal of music-related comedy on that disc – which demonstrates why Adam Hills was the perfect choice to host the ABC musical comedy quiz show Spicks and Specks.
You may not be able to find a copy of Go You Big Red Fire Engine; it’s getting a bit thin on the ground. One of the things you will be able to find is Adam Hills’s new DVD, Live in the Suburbs. In fact, chances are you’re unwrapping a copy while you listen to this podcast.
Station ID: Stand! And! Deliver! Oooh, stand and deliver… Stand! And! Deliver! Stand and deliver…
Dom: So I think we’re agreed: there are a number of kind of rubbishy Christmas songs that get played to death this time of year. However, there are some really cool Christmas songs that are clever and funny, and they’re mostly written and performed by Tripod, that musical comedy trio from Melbourne. Tripod have a pile of Christmas songs, as demonstrated on their recent ‘Hey, We Don’t Make The Yules!’ Christmas tour. According to their vocalist Yon, who appeared in Episode 1 of Stand & Deliver! Tripod have about ten Christmas songs now, which begs the question, ‘why isn’t there a Tripod Christmas album?’ [7]
Yon: Well, it’s something I think about every year... ’cause I’m the one who always thinks about merchandise, for some reason. I reckon we’re not far off one. I actually want to do a TV special. We were talking about it. We did say at some point if our TV show doesn’t get up this year, let’s do a Christmas special because I’m sure that would be easier to pitch than some bloody thing with a narrative to networks. But it hasn’t happened.
I don’t know; I’m happy to just keep writing new ones and we'll boil it down to something really good eventually, when we do something.
Dom: Yon Hall from Tripod there, explaining why Tripod don’t have a Christmas album, and in the process, raising some pretty interesting issues [8] that I just failed to chase down. Some journalist I am! In fact, I’m more a fan than a journalist. And as almost any Tripod fan should be able to tell you, Tripod have a brand new mini-album out now, called Pretty Good Songs [9] and one of the pretty good songs on it is a pretty good Christmas song, called ‘I Was the Only Shepherd’ [10].
Soundbite: ’I Was The Only Shepherd’ from the Tripod mini album Perfectly Good Songs.
Station ID: Stand… stand… stand and deliver!
Dom: That was Tripod performing ‘I Was the Only Shepherd’ from the new mini-album Pretty Good Songs [11] and if you want a copy of that album, you can buy it via their website, www.3pod.com.au.
And according to that website, Tripod have a brilliant idea for their next festival show. It’s going to be called Idio Clips and it’ll consist of video clips made by punters. That’s right, you can make a clip to a Tripod song, and if they like it it’ll be uploaded to their website and you’ll win a prize and it’ll also be part of their festival show. It’ll be projected in front of the audience while Tripod provide live accompaniment. For more info, check out the website.
Station ID: Stand! And! Deliver! Oooh, stand and deliver… Stand! And! Deliver! Stand and deliver…
Dom: Now, just a little bit of a warning: if you’re particularly religious, this next item may offend. It’s by stand-up comic Kent Valentine, recorded live at Mic in Hand, at the Friend in Hand Hotel – the venue he co-runs with fellow stand-up comic Sam Bowring.
So if you are very religious but not very open to people making fun of religion, perhaps you might consider not listening to the next bit. Otherwise, take it away Kent.
Soundbite: Kent Valentine, on why you can’t trust Jesus or the God of the various Middle Eastern religions, recorded live at Mic in Hand at the Friend in Hand Hotel.
Station ID: Stand… stand… stand and deliver!
Dom: That was Kent Valentine recorded live at Mic in Hand at the Friend in Hand Hotel. This and other material in this episode comes from the final Mic in Hand of the year that took place on Thursday December 14th.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Kent and his partner-in-mirth Sam, for the support they’ve given me both for Stand & Deliver! And for my earlier podcast Radio Ha Ha.
Likewise, I’d like to acknowledge the massive support of Sydney’s original Comedy Store at Moore Park, and Comedy on the Rox at the Roxbury Hotel, Glebe. And also Janet McLeod’s Local Laughs at the Local, St Kilda, Melbourne.
I’d also like to thank everyone who gave me permission to play their stuff on Radio Ha Ha and on Stand & Deliver! over the last year. And to help pad out this tail-end of the episode, I might also get Kent to tell us what Mic in Hand has in store for us when it starts up again in January 2007.
Kent Valentine: There’s going to be a Justin Hamilton double shot, there’s going to be Danny Bhoy, there’s going to be a whole bunch of f***ers who are really funny!
Dom: “F***ers who are really funny?” Fantastic, Kent! They tend to be the best kind of f***ers.
Speaking of which, even though the Comedy Store takes a short break at this time of year, it re-opens January 2 with Tahir Bilgic – yes, Habib from Fat Pizza - headlining for the week.
Following that, expat Aussie comic Brendon Burns returns from the UK to headline for two weeks.
And, if there’s not a lot of comedy for you to see right now, be aware that some shows have already gone on sale for the 21st Melbourne International Comedy Festival, taking place April 4th to April 29th next year: namely, Danny Bhoy and Tim Minchin.
Now’s also the time to register for Raw Comedy, the national competition that unearths new comedic talent, run by the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in collaboration with Triple J. For details go to www.comedyfestival.com.au/raw. There’ll be more details in future episodes of Stand & Deliver!
Meanwhile, Comedy on the Rox at the Roxbury Hotel in Glebe, will again be hosting their ‘Quest for the Best’ comedy competition. The first heat takes place on February 14th. That’s right, Valentine’s Day. Make it a date to remember.
There are of course other comedy festivals taking place next year, tickets for which have already gone on sale. For instance, there’s Sydney’s Cracker Comedy Festival, taking place from 7th March to 1st April. There will be heaps of stuff featured in future episodes of Stand & Deliver! but for now, check out www.cracker.com.
Adelaide Fringe takes place from March 8th to March 31st, and Sydney’s Big Laugh Festival takes place from March 22nd to April 1st in Parramatta. But the most important comedy festival to be aware of right now is the Hobart Comedy Festival, taking place from January 9th to January 20th. There’ll be more about this in an up-and-coming episode of Stand & Deliver! also.
But now, here’s a bit more Christmas comedy recorded live at Mic in Hand at the Friend in Hand Hotel, courtesy of Dave Jory, another dry, observational comic. Dave took the stage last in a long night of comedy, and he realised that the audience weren’t as receptive as perhaps they might have been an hour earlier, so he truncated his performance accordingly. I’ve edited it even further just to keep it to the Christmas bits. Here he is: Dave Jory!
Soundbite: Dave Jory, on Christmas, recorded live at Mic in Hand at the Friend in Hand Hotel.
Station ID: Stand… stand… stand and deliver!
Dom: That was Dave Jory recorded live at Mic in Hand at the Friend in Hand Hotel in Glebe, and you’re listening to Stand & Deliver!
Well, there’s nothing else left in this episode, really. [12]
Bye now!
Soundbite: ‘Theme to No Wucken Forries’
Soundbite: A bunch of stand-up recorded at the Laugh Garage when it used to be in Sydney’s CBD as opposed to its current location in Parramatta
- I’m probably most inspired to list my religion as ‘Comedian’ because Frank Zappa claimed his as ‘Musician’ when filling out the admission form for his wife when she went into hospital to give birth to their first born, Dweezil. At least, that’s what he says in his autobiography, The Real Frank Zappa Book.
- Robert De Niro’s character in the Martin Scorsese-directed King of Comedy (1983). See the film; the explanation of the reference will be self-evident.
- Christmas song by Jose Feliciano, whose title (and almost all of the lyrics) translate to ‘Happy Christmas’.
- Christmas song released as a single by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band with the Harlem Community Choir in 1972.
- ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ and ‘We Are The World’, respectively.
- You’d have to be very lucky indeed to find it on www.amazon.com; it is in fact www.amazon.co.uk that is rumoured to still have stock of this rare gem. Try here.
- It’s probably a bit early to be cannibalising previous episodes – but on the other hand, it’s good to have a break from my relentless monotone.
- The new topics of ‘television series’ and ‘television special’ are opportunities just as painfully missed now as they were in the first episode.
- Crap journo, crap fan! The mini-album is in fact called Perfectly Good Songs, not Pretty Good Songs. Don’t hold it against me.
- This song really should be called ‘The Only Shepherd’. Why? It’d be a subtle piss-take on a song called ‘The Lonely Shepherd’, a mainstay on instrumental albums and the signature tune of a musician called Gheorghe Zamfir, master of the pan pipes. Which would have nice comical resonance, given Yon’s early ‘pan pipes’ routine. Worth mentioning in passing that it is a Gheorghe Zamfir album – Improvisations: Flute De Pan Et Orgue – from whence originates the piece of music made famous as the theme to Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975). Whatever else you may say in praise of director Peter Weir, his choice of soundtrack music is always inspired and interesting.
- Perfectly Good Songs.
- 12 A dirty lie – there’s a bunch of stand-up I found while cleaning up in the early hours of Christmas – and after careful consideration and the consultation of the opinion of a trusted friend, I decided I would bung it on the end of the episode…
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