Stand and Deliver!

Laminate Wood Flooring Facebook banner

I’m not sure how all this ‘liking Facebook pages’ works. The other day I received an invitation to like Laminate Wood Flooring’s Facebook page. Laminate Wood Flooring is a carpet and flooring concern located in Cork, Ireland. (I wonder if they offer cork flooring options…)

Perhaps it’s an overhang from my time in furniture retail, when I discovered nobody really wants a table, and that nobody really ought to have a ‘kitchen dunny’ in their ‘office’. Maybe, while trying to find an interesting way to dress up a mahogany dresser for their internet feed, I googled upon the laminate flooring concern.

I do think I’ve encountered it previously; the profile pic of the lady in the frock with the gorgeous legs rang a bell.

Beauteous raven-haired Laminate Wood Flooring figurehead

Anyway, I thought it only polite to leave a comment.

It was nice to see that the page admin ‘liked’ it.

I went for a walk at lunch time on Friday, taking a slightly different route back to the office. In so doing, I came across an item of cultural ephemera not half a block away from a private Catholic school.

Relax, sensationalists, this isn't The Telegraph, and it's still school holidays. It could be any wastrel dumping their spent jollies-delivery-unit in the street.

Still, made for some nice photos that I couldn't help but share:

Parramatta, you bastion of kulchar you!

In context

Still [life in the back streets of Parra!] more context

Of course the comments on Instagram and Facebook waxed nostalgic for the vintage equivalent from their youth:

"A step up from the Orchy Orange Juice bottles of the '80s ... Just." - nickhadleydarlo

(Orchy had the monopoly on single-serve bottled juice back in the day.)

Advertising shampoos and unguents formulated for psoriatic skin, treatments for sleep apnoea and t-shirts with my favourite musicians is one thing, Facebook, but putting this in my margin is just downright rude.

I'll choose my own desperate means of spending too much money on disappointing sexual encounters, thank you very much!

Certainly a sign of the times when social networking software resorts to utilising other social networking software to try and win you back… from the other social networking software.

To wit: I spotted MySpace advertising on Facebook:

You got a Facebook page, MySpace? That's pretty desperate, even for you. It’d be kind of cute – in a kind of geeky way – if I were to somehow StumbleUpon your Twitter profile, where you announced it in a tweet.

But for you to just pop up on my Facebook unannounced – that just makes me uncomfortable. Next you’re gonna start friending all my friends, ‘liking’ all my status updates, joining all the groups I’m on, comment on my oldest photos as though you the fragment of them caught your eye in that new Facebook layout when really you’ve gone through each and every one like any other Facebook wall-stalker, trying to suss out if I have someone special in my life and whether you shape up to them.

I’m just not comfortable with it.

Get off MyBack, MySpace. I need my space, MySpace. If you can’t respect that, you’re no Friendster of mine.

Don’t make me have to block you.

Don’t you hate having to read tweets firsthand?

I know I do.

That’s why I’m so pleased to read the work of journalists like Fran Foo. Franny, why don’t you have a fan page on Facebook? You are so clearly Walkley Award quality.

And as for News Ltd breaking the story, I wanna be the first to say I can’t wait to be charged to access articles like this on your site. Nothing wrong with your ‘user pay’ model at all. Not when the ‘Rupert pay’ model produces this level of keen journalistic mind, shining an ever-enquiring light to reveal the greater truths.

Now excuse me while I tweet the link to this blog about a news story featuring tweets about Facebook – which will end up as my status update on Facebook.

(Thanks to Mikey Mileos for bringing the ‘article’ to my attention, and for pointing out that a blog was a waste of time – “Josh Elliott from Perth said it all”!)