Stand and Deliver!

More astute return visitors to this blog will be aware that I must be gainful employed.

By 'more astute return visitors', I really mean 'return visitors'; the astute visitors are the ones who keep coming back to read stuff. As opposed to ignorant American school kids, for example, who land here trying to research the Lou Diamond Phillips film Stand and Deliver by googling 'themes in stand and deliver' and, since neither my blog nor I can help them with their homework, end up commenting that we both "blow".

By 'gainfully employed' I mean someone's paying me to be a literate nerd, for a change. So I tend to spend my writing-and-ruminating time for them. At the moment it's a company called JigoCity - basically, one of the multitude of daily deal coupon companies you haven't heard of.

I've made a point of not turning my personal blog into a way of directing traffic to the website of my day job. For lots of reasons. Not because I'm not some corporate shill - I'll always sell out to the... well, to whomever's buying. But the point is, my blog is for venting spleen, for being passionate, for writing because I enjoy it. Or, for writing I'm no necessarily enjoying, but feel compelled to write because, for whatever reason, I have no choice but write.

And then JigoCity went and did a deal for discounted Burlesque Ball tickets. I'm torn. I want to write about this. But am I just flogging my day job after hours? Because as a blogger (a proper old school blogger, not some microblogging daytripper who thinks a status update on Facebook or Twitter actually constitutes a 'blog') I'm compelled to link to relevant sites when I mention them.

So I'll compromise: I'll write what I have to say about burlesque. I'll link to the JigoCity deals. But I'll write this blog at work, when there are more pressing duties I am neglecting. Understand that I am currently goofing off while I type. I am not selling out, I am stickin' it to The Man. (If I were Rik Mayall, I'd follow with 'Wev-o-lyooooo-shun!')

To prove I'm not selling out, I've got a title that's not SEO'd. And I've got a long pre-amble that'll discourage people who don't like to read. It's not just about quick sales on my blog. (God knows - I've taken my time getting around to not-quite-selling-out!)

But here's the thing:

I don't get burlesque.

I want to. I try to. I like women. I like their girly bits.

I like their girly bits in sexy clothes.

I like their girly bits out of sexy clothes.

I like the sexy transition from within sexy clothes to without sexy clothes.

But when I see burlesque I usually end up exasperated: "Get 'em out, keep 'em put away, whatever; just make up your mind and do it!"

I don't know why I feel that way. I grew up in an age when full frontal nudity was a novelty you'd stumble upon unexpectedly in a foreign film. On SBS. When it was still called 'Channel Oh'. (Or 0/28.)

A time when all pornography from the newsagent was softcore erotica - except for the racey 'black label'... which was also softcore erotica, but sometimes with two people posing instead of one.

A time when - to [probably mis]quote The IT Crowd - even online, "pre-broadband speeds" meant "you'd be up all night and see, like, eight women..."

Surely my response should be the 'seen it, heard it, or refuse to see it because I've heard too many parodies of it' Gen Y kids with no time for burlesque.

But then friends who [claim to] have seen it 'done properly' tell me the problem is, I've only ever seen it done badly. I, too, need to see it 'done properly'.

They recommend I see the Burlesque Ball, put together by the Bijou Group. They, apparently, 'do it properly'.

And here I am, currently working for JigoCity, [one of] the [multitude of] daily deal website[s that you've never heard of], and they're doing half-price tickets to the Burlesque Ball performances around Australia.

So of course, I was busy they were playing my local, the Enmore, in Newtown. And I can't get to their show at The Tivoli Theatre, Brisbane on November 4. Or the one at The Palace, Melbourne, November 11. Or the final one, at Fremantle Town Hall on November 13.

If ever I was gonna see it 'done properly', this'd be the way: each show featuring "International sensual sensation" Catherine D'Lish headlining, with a cast that includes Vancouver's Melody Mangler, Imogen Kelly from Sydney (pictured top of this post) and Lola the Vamp from Melbourne.

Oh well. Maybe next time. For me, the jury's still out regarding burlesque. I did enjoy checking out the pretty, strippy chicks for work, though. And for pleasure, of course.