**this oneâs got some naughty words, so beware**
Itâs a strange thing, how, as you get older, you somehow learn to appreciate country music. Proper country music. The outlaw variety, with â as Frank Zappa said in the song âTruck Driver Divorceâ â âsteel guitars crying all over itââ¦ sung by proper country singers like Marty Robbins and Johnny Cash. But pre-American Recordings with Rick Rubin Johnny Cash. Certainly not Shania Twain country.
Shania Twain first appeared on the scene when I was still working in a top 40 chart music store. Or rather, its Classics and Jazz department (ie âclassical musicâ and jazz, but calling it âclassicsâ meant it could be show tunes and middle-of-the-road older stuff as wellâ¦)
I couldnât help but give her a nickname. Thatâs what we did with all artists. New Kids On The Block were New Kids With No Cocks. Val Doonican was Val Croonagain. The Doors were The Bores (were they ever!) Neil Young, as time went on, lived up to his nickname of Neil Old. The Rolling Stones were the Strolling Bones. Kate Ceberano And Her Jazz Sextet were Kate See-no-bra And Her Tit Sex Jizz. Bob Dylan was Baaaaaaahhhhhhb Dylaaaaaaaahhhhhn (but you had to do his voice when you said it). And Shania Twain wasâ¦ well, you had to pronounce her first name like an Aussie country bloke saying âshowing ya', so it was like âshoâin yaâ. Her name was Shoâinya Twat.
That has no bearing on this news story, reported by The Daily Beast, about Shania Twain shacking up with FrÃ©dÃ©ric ThiÃ©baud, the pair having consoled each other after Marie-Anne ThiÃ©baud nicked Twainâs hubby, Robert Lange.