Thereâs not much point in reporting old news, even less in recounting past weather reports, but this clip of Tim Bailey is so good, and Iâm surprised that there are people who still havenât seen it.
Hereâs what happened: Ten evening news bulletin. Weather report. Anchor throws to weatherman:
Tim starts doing his thing:
I reckon heâs got the slightest look of nerves or fear at this point â he can see somethingâs about to happen â but he carries on regardless, trooper that he is.
But itâs a bit hard to carry on when someoneâs invaded your stage. Still, Timba tries to persevere:
He really is trying to carry on the segment despite the two boisterous bogans.
The âandâ is an attempt to carry on the broadcast; the âexcuse meâ is his admission that theyâve gotten the better of him. At least he doesnât curse in front of the cute little girls in the choir who manage to maintain decorum. Some of them smile, but all resist the desire to squeal like the bogans, or join in, running amok.
Heâs repeated the polite âexcuse meâ that once again is ignored. As is his request for âsomeoneâ to âpleaseâ. Instead he grabs hold of the toothy one in the crimson stripes. She doesnât stop smiling or squealing, but tries to get free of his grasp by slapping Timba away. She only manages to brush his contact mic.
My favourite sequence takes place as toothy bogan tries to run away. Timbaâs holding tight and sheâs kind of âcorneredâ by TV execs or whoever the off-camera folk are. I say âcorneredâ â ToBo (toothy bogan) runs straight for them, Timba still attached. When she gets there, ToBo is face-to-face with a power-dressedâ¦ I dunnoâ¦ station executive? Segment producer? Timba groupie? Whatever. ToBo facepalms her (could be a pretty âhimâ; hard to tellâ¦) out of shot with Timba still attached.
At which point we cut back to the studio, so the anchor can say,
I can only assume they couldnât cut back to her sooner because she was laughing too much. Well, I wanna assume that. By the look of her, she didnât find it funny at all, either because âsense of humourâ was never in the contract (someone at Ten has to be serious about something!) or because she was the one who hired the girls.
You really should see the whole clip â but before you watch it consider this: the Nine Network must be short of a bob â theyâve yet to get Timbaâs bogons onto A Current Affair followed by a gig.
âWhat as?â youâre probably wondering.
The answer is, whateverâs going: âentertainment reportersâ (anyone can read a rumour on Twitter and repeat it on air); weather girls (anyone can entertain an audience for thirty seconds before reading a bunch of places and temperatures off an autocue â as demonstrated by the clip in contention); assistants to Clare Werbeloff, helping her âdoâ whatever it is she actually âdoesâ; the list is virtually endless.
And the beauty of being at Nine means one day, not next week, not the week after, but within the next couple of financial years, say, as long as they donât get âbonedâ, one of them could actually end up running the joint.
But I digress. Hereâs the clip