Wil, latterly
My second-favourite Twitter conversation thus far:

The Urban Dictionary Game

Go to www.urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST definition it gives you.


1) YOUR NAME?
Demetrius

A fine ass boy at my school

a boy at my school
[a]


2) YOUR AGE?
37

#1) Number often used in fiction because it is inconspicuous: a prime number great than 25 but less than 50. [b]

It was a dark and stormy night. A tall dark man wanted to buy a newspaper but had only 37 cents.

#2) Number that usually results in cheap magician's trick: Ask someone to pick a number in his/her head between 1 and 50 with both digits odd and the first digit less than the second. Victim usually picks 37 because of #1).

Valley Girl: Oh my God! You’re like physic or something. How’d you know I was thinking “37”?
Amateur Magician: You dumb bitch!

#3) Birthday number most likely to trigger a mid-life crisis.

“Oh my God! I'm turning 37 next week… the late -30s… and I still haven't picked a career!”

#4) The number of men a woman must give a blowjobs to in order to become a slut (see the movie Clerks).

Man: How many men have you gone down on?
Woman: Thirty-six.
Man: Oh, I see. Thirty-six including me isn't so bad.
Woman: Including you, thirty-seven.
Man: THIRTY-SEVEN!!!! THIRTY-SEVEN!!!
YOU SLUT!!!!!!!


3) ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Annemarie

Hottest chick in town, loves to make you smile. Pothead… oh yes. But she will never fail to be there for you, and she has already found her love so don’t try. Sexy as hell, hates rules. Can’t stand to be closed in. Needs room to be free and to let it all out. [c]

Damn... that is one cool annemarie.


4) WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?
Cleaning

(v) The act of shoving everything in a closet and calling it decent.

“I’m cleaning my closet.”
“Where are you shoving all your stuff then?”
“My room.”
“Ah.”


5) FAVOURITE COLOUR?
Maroon

A term of derision often uttered by Bugs Bunny when referring to an interaction with a dopey adversary. It is a mispronunciation of the word “Moron”

“What a Maroon!” “Will ya get a load of this maroon!” [d]


6) BIRTHPLACE?
Rome

Capital of Italy, the “Eternal City”.

“Roma” in Italian. [e]


7) MONTH OF YOUR BIRTHDAY?
August

The idea of perfection. The eighth month of the year in certain European and Asian cultures signifies greatness in achieving perfection, or something close to it.

You look August tonight my love!


8) LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
My mum

A word americans don't know how to spell

Also townies use the phrase ‘your mum’ as an insult

me: fuck off
Townie: your mum


9) YOUR NICKNAME?
Dom

n. Short for “Dominant”. The dominant person in a BDSM relationship or encounter.

She's looking for a dom who has knowledge of tying complicated knots.


10) LAST THING U HAD TO EAT?
Bacon and eggs

When you bang your friend’s hot sister in his house, then have her cook you bacon and eggs. You then stroll down the stairs in a house coat after finishing breakfast and say ‘wassup’ to your friend, forever humiliating him.

I bacon and eggs’d my friend's sister last night. He was pissed.


FOOTNOTES

a: The second definition was just as good. So glad it wasn't the third one, though.

b: The phenomenon described in this definition is probably what gives rise to Rule 37, also beautifully defined an illustrated in the Urban Dictionary.

c: Almost totally accurate!

d: Best definition is the fifth one, offering possible origins for Bugs Bunny’s insult: a possible reference to the Pottsville Maroons, a football team with the best NFL record in 1925, but “so dumb that they encroached on the area of another team and forfeited the NFL championship”.

e: Most boring. Definition. Evah!

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