You Are Soul
I'm a Minstrel (In the Bedroom)

Eke Out A Living

What with the advent of MySpace and Facebook, my e-mail inbox nowadays consists almost entirely of spam.

Oh, there's a smattering of PR stuff that comes through, and the odd annoying individual that will seek to comment on a blog entry via e-mail rather than clicking the comment link on the blog itself (usually a religious type reacting to this post, demanding answers that are in fact explained in full within the entry, had he – and it’s always a he – bothered to read it) forcing me to cut and paste it into the blog as if it were a properly executed comment.

Amid the usual ‘increase your mortgage payments/credit rating/penis size’ offers there is always a Spanish lottery win or a variation on the Nigerian government scam.

Here’s the latest, from the Rev. Charles Eke, whose e-mail address is French, but who fails to disclose his alleged country of origin. His grammar and syntax in English is the most flawlessy executed I’ve seen. I’ve deleted most of the guff out of the original message.

Dear Friend,

After due deliberation with my colleagues, I decided to forward to you this proposal. We want a reliable person who could assist us to transfer the sum of US$40.5M (forty Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) only into his account.

As you may rightly want to know I got your address from our Chambers of Commerce and Industry. I am a top official with the Ministry of Petroleum Resources (MPR). We the officials involved in the deal have put in many years of services to our ministries. We have been exercising patience for
this opportunity for so long and to most of us, this is a lifetime opportunity we cannot afford to miss. This transaction is very much free from all sorts of risks.

NOTE: Your discussion regarding to this transaction should be limited, because we are still in Government service. Let honesty and trust be our watchwords throughout this transaction. And your Prompt reply will be highly appreciated.

Best regards.

Rev. Charles Eke

My response to Charles was as follows:

Dear Charles,

Discussion was kept to a minimum, but the honest reply, I trust you’ll agree, is certainly prompt, as you will appreciate. After due deliberation with my  colleagues, I decided to forward to you this proposal. We want you to go f&#% yourself.

Best regards.

Vulgar Dom Romeo

You might wish to join me in these sentiments towards Rev. Charles Eke, but be warned, once he has your e-mail address, you may well start receiving even more spam than before.

Perhaps keep a separate Spammer Bashing address – you know, one you set up only to send abuse to spammers, that isn’t linked to the same internet account through which you do your banking and purchasing, so that your financial details can’t be abused.

What? You don’t keep a separate Spammer Bashing address? You must have a life or something.

Watch out for spammers and online fraud.

Peace out.

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