It would be the title of a profile of Russell Brand – preferably written after ‘touring’ with him for a while and watching him in closer proximity.
The ‘opener’ – the illustration on the heading page of the article – which would take up two facing pages – would be Da Vinci’s Last Supper, with Brand as Christ (the robes would be leather) and the apostles would be twelve gorgeous fans/groupies, each sporting the wristbands his minders distribute that give them access to his hotel suite. Class of fan would be represented by type of apparel in which each apostle is clad – including, in some cases, very little to none. (Years from now a mediocre and yet best-selling writer would pen a massively popular book outlining a conspiracy theory whose supporting evidence would include the contention that some of the women in the painting of The Last Schtupper were in fact men.)
I had no idea The Last Schtupper was the title of a porno. But I realise now, of course it would be!